she's the one you lost
by gustin puckerman
Summary: Strawberries is the biggest trigger of all. one-shot.


**My first Gale/Madge. Enjoy**.

* * *

_she's the one you lost_

(the one who died.)

.

She is not a constant reminder in his mind like bell chiming in his head, or an annoying noise buzzing through his mind (not like how Katniss still thinks she could hear Prim's laughter on Remembrance Day) and sometimes, there would be days where she wouldn't even come across his mind. Sometimes, it's weeks! But just like every time, she would eventually pops into his head sooner or later.

Strawberries is the biggest trigger of all.

He twirls the fruit between his thumb and forefinger, and his mind wanders to places he wishes he wouldn't visit. The image of her opening the door, with the same face over and over again, and the same remarks playing in his head in repeat. He tries to remember anything else she did say to him, but only little comes to his mind. It frustrates him sometimes. But he wouldn't let it get to him too deep (Distraction is not something he could deal with on the moment).

But he remembers her well enough. Her blond hair, the way it fell perfectly passed her shoulders and slightly radiating under the sun's light. It is all too confusing, and sometimes it set his heart on a race, but he regrets the day he didn't give himself a chance to get to know her. He saw her there, when they all we were watching Katniss fight in the arena- over the crowds of people, he saw a glimpse of yellow (only her hair glows like the sun under the night sky) and somehow, he couldn't stop looking at her.

And then, she looked at him.

And for a moment, the whole world stopped.

Gale stops and look at the strawberry again. They used to get strawberries from a certain place in the wild back in 12- it wasn't hard to get to those places but still, strawberries are rare fruits to be find in the wild- and now, all he has to do if he wished for a strawberry, and they would all serve him a full bowl of it. She would have like it, nibbling the strawberry between her lips before chewing it off. He saw she'd done that once- she was impatient and hadn't realize she have done that, while paying both him and Katniss.

Her fingers looked graceful- Katniss had told him she played the piano. He had heard her played the piano sometimes; music was rare in 12, unless you counted people hitting random things or clicking glasses together to make annoying sounds he hates so much. So, sometimes it was nice. Her music, it defined something out of ordinary towards him. Of peaceful- as if she had taken him somewhere else, somewhere much, much better than the world they had lived then.

And he had once listened to her, playing the piano, after Katniss had gone to the games. It was still the same- but there was deep, hurtful sorrow into it. It chimed and laced through the melody, and it hurt him so damn much- he could've swore he was very close to kick off her door's house and let himself in, so he could thrash that piano of hers (_don'tremindmeofthepain. don'tremindmeofKatniss_), but then his ears caught something. A glint of something like the blue sky after a dark day came upon her song. _Hope_.

.

"Look, I know you're hurt. I know how you feel-,"

He turned to her, his eyes shot through her and he saw her breath hitched. "You don't a fucking thing of how I'm feeling. So don't go around and pretend like you do, alright _princess_?"

He whirled around, taking a step to get away from her. _Stupid girl_. He shook her head and- he stumbled back slightly when a hard hand grabbed his arms. He faced the owner of this strong grasp, and was met with a eyes full of tears. Her brows furrowed together and through her gritted teeth, she said, "Fuck you. Katniss' my friend too, y'know?"

And he stood there, taking it all in, while he watched her went.

.

Pink. (He can tell it's her favorite color)

Ribbon. (She has the strangest addiction for those things)

Morphling. ("It was Madge. Madge Undersee. She sent you the morphling after your little 'incident'.")

Piano. (burned along with the rest of the house.)

Sudden explosion. (fire roaring in the sky, but he couldn't do anything)

Blond hair. (but none like hers)

Haymitch's past. (the drunk lost the same person -_kind of_- as he did)

_Strawberry_.

The lists that triggers any memory of her. There still more, but the details are too small for him to remember. It wouldn't matter. Gale flicks the single strawberry in his hand once again, before popping it into his mouth. He knows he couldn't get rid of her so easily, even after her death (He visited her grave once, along with Katniss. It looked plain and boring- and after Katniss left, he threw pink flowers to make it more... _Madge_). He stands up on his boots and looks at the scenery outside his office's window. The sweet taste of the fruit floods his mouth and he swallows it slowly.

_Undersee_.

She's the one who's gone (_the one he didn't get to save_). She's the one who died.

(And that will forever haunts him for the rest of his life.)

.

_**Fin**_.


End file.
